Sunday 16th June 2024 | Message by Pastor Rolly Stahl | Recovering from emotional burnout (Worship series: Balancing life’s demands) | 1 Kings 19:1-18; Matthew 11:28-30
In our series, Balancing Life’s Demands, we’ve looked at keeping our minds active; and looking after our bodies. Today we focus on the emotional dimension – how we register, process, and act on our feelings.
Last week we closed with this verse: A heart at peace gives life to the body. (Proverbs14:30 NIV).
Would you agree that our emotions affect our physical well-being?
- When we’re upset, our stomach churns.
- Stress can bring on a tension headache.
- Sadness – or sometimes joy – can provoke tears.
- Long term anxiety/worry can cause a stomach ulcer.
But: A heart at peace gives life to the body. Today we look at how God can help us recover peace after emotional “burn out”.
Burnout is emotional exhaustion. I confess there have been seasons in ministry when I’ve felt like crawling under a rock and hiding for 6 months. There’s no juice left in the tank, the batteries are flat, and the ship is sinking. It’s horrible!
Burn out can happen to anyone who is overextended for a long time.
- It can happen to parents who are up multiple times each night caring for babies and perhaps other children each day.
- It can happen to parents caring for children with prolonged and serious medical issues.
- It can happen to single working parents who find self-care difficult with all the demands on their energy and time.
- It can happen to people doing long hours in stressful jobs with little or no support.
- It can happen to people in midlife at the peak of their career, who may be caring for aging parents – as well as their children and grandchildren.
- It can happen to teenagers striving to meet the expectations of parents, teachers, friends – as well as their own.
- It can happen to anyone subject to relentless bullying or abuse.
- It can happen to people in ‘helping professions’: carers, nurses, social workers, teachers, counsellors, chaplains, pastoral carers, church workers, pastors.
- It can happen to people exposed to regular trauma: emergency workers, police, ambos, firefighters, defense personnel in a war zone, medical staff in an emergency department.
Today we look at how God restored the prophet Elijah from burn out.
Elijah was a great man of God. He had just experienced the most amazing mountain top experience of his life at Mount Carmel.[1] Short story: with God’s awesome might, Elijah ‘kicked butt’ of the pagan prophets of Baal and Asherah – all 850 of them! God showed himself to be powerful. Baal was exposed as a fraud. And the Israelites realised afresh that the LORD is God. Elijah was right in the middle of it.
You’d expect Elijah to be on a high after this. But following the mountain top experience comes a valley. Elijah got down-do-be-do down-down. He’s so down-do-be-do down-down that he says to God: “I have had enough, Lord. Take my life.” (1 Kings 19:4 NLT).
From national hero to feeling like a zero in the space of a few days. What caused that?
How did Elijah fall into such a low? There’s a bunch of factors:
- Exhaustion – It’s been a tough period for Elijah. Wicked King Ahab blames him for the drought. At Mt Carmel, Elijah had confronted Israel with their idolatry.
- Fear and worry – Queen Jezebel – who was patron of the pagan prophets – has vowed to kill Elijah.
- Resentment – “I’m fed up, I’ve had enough.”
- Low self-esteem – “I’m no better than my ancestors.”
- Loneliness and isolation – “I’m the only one left.”
Elijah’s experiences move him to make:
Four mistakes we can make when burnt out
1. We focus on our feelings rather than the facts
When we experience strong feelings – like anger or disappointment – we can make dramatic claims: “Nobody cares about me.” “They’re all out to get me.” “No one appreciates what I do.” “I’m a complete failure.” “I don’t know anything!”
I wonder: Have you ever made statements like that based on your feelings?
Friends, our feelings are not always facts. Our feelings can mislead us.
Look at Elijah. Faced with his feelings of isolation he declares: “I’m the only one left.” Baarp! Incorrect. God tells him that there are 7,000 who have never worshipped Baal.
Now friends, we shouldn’t ignore our feelings. To bury our intense feelings doesn’t make them go away. Like buried tyres, they will resurface one day – perhaps at the most inconvenient time!
Intense feelings are like warning lights alerting us to issues we need to deal with. Yet we need to go about this in a healthy way – neither burying them, nor giving them centre stage. We need to process those intense feelings in the light of Jesus and God’s Word. And yes, we might need help to unpack and process those feelings from a trusted Christian friend or counsellor.
2. We compare ourselves to others
Elijah compares himself with others: “I am no better than my ancestors.” (1 Kings 19:4 NIV). Comparing ourselves with others is a “no win” game. When we compare our strengths with other people’s weaknesses, we puff up with pride. When we compare our weaknesses with other people’s strengths, we get depressed. We don’t know who Elijah is comparing himself with, but he concludes his work is fruitless – and his life pointless.
3. We blame ourselves for things that are not our fault
Elijah has carried out God’s instructions. Yet he’s upset because he seems to think he’s responsible for the spiritual well-being of the whole nation. Is it really Elijah’s fault if the whole nation doesn’t turn back to God?
Reality check: We cannot force people to change!
We cannot force people to turn to God or trust God!
Now it might be tough for some of us to let go of the idea that everything is our responsibility. Like if you’re always apologising for what goes wrong …even when you’ve had nothing to do with it.
Or if you’re always rescuing people from the consequences of their choices – so they have no intention of changing! Friends, if you struggle with this, you might need to establish healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are about owning what is your responsibility – including the choices you make; and letting others take responsibility for their choices. If you keep rescuing people, they don’t learn from the consequences of their choices. Like a vampire they will keep sucking the life out of you – and you’ll be on a fast track to burn out.
4. We exaggerate the negatives
Listen to Elijah: “I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” (1 Kings 19:10,14 NLT). Sounds bad, doesn’t it? The big they are after him. But there’s only one person who has threatened Elijah: Queen Jezebel.
Now if Jezebel really wanted to kill Elijah, she wouldn’t have sent a messenger. She would have sent a hit man. At that time, Elijah was a hero. So killing him would have made him a martyr. She didn’t want that. By scaring him off, she could go back to her nasty business without anyone challenging her. Elijah was exaggerating the negatives. We tend to do that when we’re depressed.
So Elijah focuses on his feelings. He compares himself to others and labels himself a failure. He blames himself for things that are not his responsibility. And he exaggerates the negatives. He’s depressed: “God, I want you to kill me because I’m done!”
Now what I like about this story is how God comes to Elijah – and to us – in our brokenness. This story shows us:
Five ways God helps us to recover from burn out.
1. Rest your body
Elijah is worn out. The first part of Elijah’s restoration is to sleep and eat. God sends a nursing angel to care for Elijah’s physical needs. When you’re stressed, you burn the candle at both ends trying to get things done. You don’t eat properly; or you binge eat. You’re awake for hours during the night with anxiety. You end up totally exhausted! So the first part of recovery is to rest and sleep.
2. Find a quiet place where you can reflect
God sent Elijah away from the grind of ministry to a quiet place where he could reflect. It’s a simple thing – but essential to regain perspective. We often look at things differently when we’re not in the middle of them. Get away to a safe place where you can rest and reflect.
3. Release your frustrations
At Mt Sinai, God asks: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9 NLT).
Now, did God know what was bugging Elijah? Absolutely. But God also knew that Elijah needed to get it off his chest. So God lets Elijah vent – without interrupting him.
Then later, the Lord asks him again: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:13 NLT). Why does God ask him a second time? Because God knows that until we’ve got it all out of our system, we’re not ready to move on. We need to express ALL the anger, despair, frustration, and pain that’s accumulated over time.
Now you can do this with a trusted friend, mentor, counselor, or pastor. Best of all, you can do this with God. You can tell your heavenly Father anything, anytime, anywhere.
You want proof? In the Psalms, lots of upset people tell God exactly how they’re feeling. E.g.:
- My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?! (Psalm 22:1 NLT).
- O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? (Psalm 13:1 NLT).
- You see all that my enemies are doing. Pour out your fury on them; consume them with your burning anger. (Psalm 69:19b, 24 NLT).
There are a lot more examples in Psalms of people venting their feelings with God.
Friends, we can be real with God: whether it’s good, bad, or ugly! The Lord knows what’s bugging us and invites us to tell him all about it.
4. Refocus on God
Totally focused on his problems, Elijah is wrongly centred. When we’re obsessed with our problems, we can lose sight of God’s ability to help us through our problems.
The Lord calls Elijah out of the cave: “Go out and stand before me on the mountain.” (1 Kings 19:11 NLT). Then God puts on a production – there’s wind, rocks splitting apart, earthquake, and fire. Impressive.
But the Lord was not in his awesome displays of might.
Instead, God speaks to Elijah in the sound of a gentle whisper.
Isn’t that typical? The Lord rarely speaks to us in dramatic ways. Most of the time God speaks to us in the quietness: when we’re sitting still, reading the Scriptures, praying, waiting on him, or listening. God speaks to us through water and the Word in Baptism; through bread and wine in the Lord’s Supper; and through the kindness of his people. When we are broken, the Lord doesn’t overwhelm us with his might, but comforts us with his kind and gentle words…with his pardon, his presence, and his promises.
5. Re-centre in God and his purposes
Then the Lord tells Elijah, “I want you to go back to work.” It’s a bit surprising. But think it through. In effect God is saying: “OK Elijah, I’ve nursed you. I’ve listened to you get it all off your chest. You’ve had your time out. Now it’s time to get back into the game. You are not alone! There are 7,000 true believers in Israel. And I’ve still got important things for you to do.”
God sends Elijah back to work with renewed purpose and hope. God also gave Elijah a supporter, an apprentice named Elisha. These two are your biblical Batman and Robin. So for the rest of his days on earth, Elijah wasn’t alone.
Now friends, maybe you’ve felt like Elijah: drained, flat, empty inside, ready to toss it all in. The difficulty with burnout is that you don’t have the emotional energy to do much for yourself. It’s a time when you need to receive care rather than giving it.
Let me remind you how God initiates every step of Elijah’s recovery.
- God sends his angel to feed Elijah and restore his body.
- God calls him to a quiet place and invites him to vent his feelings.
- God reveals himself to Elijah in a still small voice and challenges him to refocus.
- And God sends him on with a purpose and a friend.
That’s how God restores Elijah from emotional burn out.
In the same way, Jesus invites us: “Come to me you who are burnt out and depressed. Come to me with those burdens that weigh you down and break your spirit. Come to me – and you will find rest for your souls.” Amen. (c.2120)
An audio version of this message is available on St John’s Lutheran Church Tea Tree Gully YouTube page: www.youtube.com/@stjohnslutheranttg
[1] King Ahab married a pagan princess named Jezebel. Then Jezebel established the worship of Baal and his consort Asherah as the main religion of the northern kingdom of Israel. It was a fertility cult that turned people away from the LORD and brought his judgement via a 3-year drought. Elijah challenged the false prophets to a contest at Mt Carmel. For the whole story, read 1 Kings 18.
St John's Lutheran Church, Tea Tree Gully 